A Shortened Version of My Relationship with Literature

My relationship with literature has been complicated at certain points in time. The relationship depends on whether I like what I am reading and what is going on in other parts of my life. Growing up, I really enjoyed reading and still do. My bookshelves were stuffed as much as I could get away with.

What has been difficult are some of the works that have been assigned, especially in honors English in high school, and my sad attempt at AP Lit. I tend not to like some classics because, for me, they tend to ramble and make things longer than they should be. Sometimes that can be a good thing, however a lot of the classic themes are very similar. Also, classics can lack real diversity, or even when they offer women as main characters, they depend on men too heavily. I really dislike books where women are seemingly weak or seen as secondary just because of their gender. I realize that is more historically accurate, but changing it could work. Another thing that disappoints me about most books that are assigned is that a lot are about straight white men, and it can be hard for me to make a personal connection to them. Even if a work offers lesbian characters, it is a common theme to have a negative outcome for them. More specifically, I disliked reading Shakespeare and Jane Eyre, among others.

I enjoy assignments that I can take a personal interest into. I would rather interpret it myself, but not get too picky or detailed with analyzing the work. The assignments I enjoy more are ones that are more open-ended, such as our Literary Analysis. Just reading and being tested on it gets old and repetitive, and students have found ways around this (SparkNotes, for example). During senior year of high school, I attempted AP Lit. It is one of the worst decisions I have made, not just because of the course load. Around that time, my depression and anxiety levels were very high, and motivation levels plummeted due to the extra stress. Back then, I was not diagnosed and did not know why I felt the way I did. Even if the mental side of things were decreased, I still do not think I would have enjoyed the course much, because we analyzed works to the extreme. I did not always understand the connections (symbolism is challenging).

Currently, I do not have as much time to read on my own, but I always make it a point to find ones to read for the future. I have a few lists worked up that greatly interest me and that I can perhaps form a connection to, both fiction and non-fiction.